Seeing my Abs Again... Before I Die

Dan Circa December 1977 (4th Grade)

I have always had a love-hate relationship with exercise.  The hate started early in my elementary school career.  As a slightly pudgy fourth grader at Benjamin Franklin Elementary, I had NO stamina, very little strength, and I was as slow as cold congealed beef drippings that need to be scrapped off the broiler pan before being submerged into a soapy sink.

Ms. Crutchfield was my Physical Education teacher.  She believed in what she did, and she had little respect for the kids that were out of condition.  She expected a certain level of discipline, that was lacking from my life.  The highest honor you could achieve in her class was the President's Physical Fitness Award, which consisted of several "events" that you had to complete with specific goals that needed to be met to attain the award.  

I remember the embarrassment of not being able to do the required number of chin ups, sit ups, or complete the shuttle run quickly enough.  To make things worse, these activities were front loaded at the beginning of the school year, so it set the stage for my further humiliation of being the least sought after team member for the touch football, softball, basketball, and volleyball teams that were formed later in the year.

However, I was an early bloomer, and proud of it.  I may not have been fast or had a flat stomach, but I was the only kid in the fifth grade with hair under his arms, so by the time I entered sixth grade, I was well on my way to realizing the need to get into shape. I wanted girls to be attracted to me, and I did not want to be that kid that was picked last for the rest of my life. 

Getting into Shape

During the summer prior to seventh grade, I moved in with my Mother, my Sister, and soon enough my sister's second husband, Wayne.  It was Wayne that introduced me to weight lifting, and by the end of six weeks of working out with him, I saw noticeable improvement in my over-all health and physique.

When seventh grade started, at Driftwood Middle, I had a new lease on life.  No longer was I the kid that could not compete.  I did not have the baggage of elementary school because I was in a new neighborhood with new friends.  I was in good physical condition, and I started to enjoy the use of my body for something other than sitting in front of the TV.

I stayed in decent shape all through middle and high school.  However, I was never satisfied with how I looked.  It didn't matter how thin I got, or how much muscle mass I gained, not that I was ever huge, but I certainly didn't look bad.  The real issue was my heart.  I had started my fitness quest for all of the wrong reasons.  I was trying to look good for others, I wasn't concerned with health.  I did not have some deep conviction that I was exercising to achieve a better standard of living, unless that standard included having women swoon when I entered a room.

Then my wife came along.  We met at the tender age of 18.  There is a moment in time that I remember to this day, where I knew she was the one.  We spent a few years together before we were married at 21.  

Dan in 1988 under the Tyranny of Vanity

During the years that built up to our union, I was obsessed with my appearance.  Even though I was with the woman of my dreams, I was not satisfied with how I looked. I could never meet my goals of being at the gym as many days of the week or when I was there, for as many hours as I wanted.  I was insecure and vain.  Despite my lack of satisfaction with my appearance, it was during this period that I saw my abs for the first, and most likely the last time. 

Becoming a New Man

To my great joy, my wife endured, but more importantly, Christ intervened.  In August of 1989, we were reading "Satan is Alive and Well on Planet Earth" by Hal Lindsey.  Through the course of our reading we both became aware of our need for a Savior.  As we read Ephesians 2:1-10, we both realized that it was not about how many good things we did, instead it was about the good thing He did for us.  God's holiness demanded that my sinfulness be paid for with blood.  Christ had given His perfect blood for me, and therefore, I was free to live for Him!

I had struggled my entire life to please others, and God was just another figure that I could not please.  My understanding of Him was limited to that paradigm.  I knew I would never be good enough for Him, and yet this passage in the New Testament indicated that was okay.  

For the first time I understood what grace meant - unmerited favor.  I couldn't earn my way to heaven, and the faith that I needed would be a gifted to me!  We gave our lives to Jesus that night, and my life turned upside down.  As a result, my thoughts about working out changed too.  Over time, I stopped going to the gym, and my personal fitness took a backseat to reordering my life in service to the King. 

Developing a Health Lifestyle

Dan in 2003 at approximately 200 lb.'s

Fast forward to 2003, and I was 30 pounds overweight, on a steady diet of Mountain Dew, Pizza, Hot Pockets, and Doritos.  My third child was born that year, and I was facing my own mortality.  "How am I going to keep up with this kid?", was my primary thought.  I had separated my life into buckets, one for my Spiritual Life, one for my Work Life, one for my Social Life, etc.. I wasn't living an integrated lifestyle, and I had thrown the baby out with the bathwater by feeding the Spirit-man, whilst fattening up the physical-man.  I had taken 1 Timothy 4:8 a little bit too far.

That's when I went through my first "Lifestyle Change", which was me trying to say I wasn't going to diet, I was going to change the way I did things.  I started eating right, walking regularly, and losing weight.  I lost 30 pounds.  I gained back my stamina, and I was well on my way to keeping up with my now almost 10 and 8 year old boys. 

In April of this year I joined a gym, and between that and my dedication to T-Tapp, I've seen some good improvements in my physical condition.  Before I plunked down the cash to start at Snap Fitness, I took stock in why I wanted to join.  I knew I did not want to become that person I was at 21 all over again.  I would never again submit to the tyranny of vanity.  At the same time, I had to admit that part of my motivation was to look better. In my heart of hearts I understood there needed to be balance.  

I took James Fell's advice when he said, "You need to accept the fact that you’re probably never going to look like that. Instead, you must determine your own level of “good enough.”"

I talked it over with my wife, and I defined my own understanding of what it meant to me to be in shape.  To me it means, "Being able to keep up with my children, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and have a sense of vitality."  As a side note, I created the mental mantra, "I want to see my abs again before I die," to keep a level of mirror-motivation in tact. ;)

The jury is out on whether or not I will ever see a four, six, or eight pack on my abdomen before I pass into eternity.  The truth is, even if I don't, I will continue to pursue the dream in my effort to maintain a balanced, healthy lifestyle. 


How do you define being physically fit?  What are you doing to get into shape?  Do you love to workout?  If so, share some thoughts below.