Forever Young - The Benefits of a Premature Death

The summer of 1978 was a turbulent time for my family.  I remember a lot of fighting and the fallout that it created, especially between my older brother Mark, who was 16, and my father.  My parents had divorced several years earlier.  The four boys were living with Dad, and my sister was on her own, having been married in December of 1976.  My mother was living alone in a small one bedroom apartment, and she was working as a waitress to support herself.  Dad was a successful mechanic, and he recently sold his service station to return to life as an employee.

Mark Anthony Callari Circa 1978

Mark was in the process of completing his sophomore year,  for the second time.  Let's just say he did not spend a lot of time studying or even attending high school during that time.  He was too caught up in his job at Publix, his motorcycle, and his constant drug use.  All of this culminated in a huge fight that took place sometime in May.  There was a lot of yelling and screaming, lines were drawn in the sand, and decisions were made that had lasting ramifications.  Mark was moving out, or maybe he was being kicked out, I honestly cannot remember.  I do remember saying good-bye to him on the front porch of my Father's house.

 

Our Final Good-bye

There was an awkward silence between us as the light from the street lamp dimly lit Mark's face.  He told me to, "be good," and I asked him to do the same.  We hugged, said, "I love you." to each other, and off he went.  That was the last time I ever saw him.

During the weeks that followed it was decided that I would move in with my sister.  My father's alcoholism combined with his failing marriage was causing concern for my welfare.  I was only 10 at the time, and I was not happy living with him and Peggy, my stepmother.

The Night of the Accident

June 26, 1978, 1:15 AM, the phone rang.  I picked it up, as did my sister, and we both heard my stepmother announce with great agony, "Mark is dead."  He was in a motorcycle accident, died upon impact.  

That night everything changed, forever.  Mark's life was ended prematurely, and in my heart and mind, his age was sealed at 16 going on 17.  Thinking back, I recall all of the discussion around what could have been for him, how much promise he had, how much hope we all had for him, all of which was crushed by single man that failed to yield the right of way to my brother.

At 45, going on 46, I look in the mirror and see a lot less hair on my head, and a lot more on the rest of my body, as well as a figure that has worn with age.  I am father of 4, married for almost 25 years to the same woman, an employee of Teleflex for over 12 years, and a Christ-follower since 1989.  35 years have past since that night in June, and my life went on.  Mark's was cut short.  He has no history beyond June 25, 1978, and I, along with my surviving brothers and sister can only imagine what might have been for him.

The Ripple Effect of Tragedy

The Callari Family Circa 1970

Our family pulled together as a result of our loss.  As surviving children we comforted each other, and we tried to comfort our parents as they dealt with Mark's untimely departure. There were many hours devoted to recounting stories that centered on him.  We rehashed and mourned the decisions that were made that led up to that day in June.  We blamed God, each other, and the man that ran the yellow light.  Ultimately we accepted his death for what it was, a tragedy of youth and the consequences of a fallen world.

In all of our struggles and tension, Mark remained young.  He had moved on, and now it was time for us to do the same.  The memories we have of him were distilled down to the essence of good that remained of his spirit after it departed.  I imagine that this is how he survives in eternity, in a state that is glorified and free from the sin that stained his earthly body.


Our world is decaying, but in death we have life eternal, which I know my beloved brother is experiencing now.  I am truly grateful for the hope that I have in Christ, and I look forward to the joy that I will experience when I am reunited with Mark in the place where the streets have no name.

Have you dealt with the tragedy of a life that was taken prematurely?  How did you and your family respond?  Did something good come of it?  Are you still struggling to accept the end result?  Comment about this article and the questions asked below.